Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Jane's Reign: Day Five



Hello hello!

Welcome back to Jane's Reign. We're on day five and we want to talk about . . . Jane's library.

More than anything, Jane loves books, and we, your faithful narrators, loved naming Jane's books. Here's a sampling of the fun we had.


  • The Unabridged History of the Beet in England: Volume Five
  • E∂ians: Historical Figures and Their Downfall
  • Wilderness Survival for Courtiers 
  • An Analysis of E∂ians' Paintings and Their Impact on Society: Volume Three
  • The Formation of Mountains and the Balance Achieved in Valley's: A Theory of E∂ian Magic in the Mundane World
  • The Jewels of the World: Man-made Marvels and How They Were Built
  • Drafting Decrees, the Ancient Language of Biding Arbitration
And . . . Oh we could go on and on about Jane's books. She has quite the library and all her books seem to have the most ridiculously long titles. 

We had so much fun naming Jane's books, and making fun of those names. On page 384, when Jane is ready to impart a bit of important information she learned from a book, G begs her not to name the title because they seriously don't have time. 



And earlier, G even makes up titles for books he assumes she must have read, like How to Rule a Kingdom, Even if You're Thirty-Second in the Line of Succession and Chances Are You'll Never Actually Rule: Volume One of Three. (page 222)

And all this ties into today's contest:

We want you to title more of Jane's books. And, if you're ambitious, create covers for her books for double points. 

Here's how it works:

1. We will choose a random winner, so put separate entries in separate comments
2. You can have up to five entries. 
3. The winner will be announced on July 18, and will receive a signed copy of MY LADY JANE!


81 comments:

  1. The Noble Ferret: 65 Rodenty Contributions to the World

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  2. Windhovers: Training Kestrels to Fly Straight

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  3. Noble Housekeeping: 101 Ways to Keep a Castle Spit Spot

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  4. The "Special Hug" and how to Make it Special. (I'm cackling as I write this one...)

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  5. Don’t Call Me Carrots – A History of Strong Red-Headed Women Throughout the Ages

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  6. Resolving E∂ian Marital Discord, Volume II: When Your Husband Is Being A Complete Ass

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  7. Bland and Blander – Subjugating A Nation Through Extraordinarily Average British Cuisine

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  8. No, My Lord, You Smell Fine; A Guide To Sixteenth Century Marriage & Betrothal

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  9. Loquacious Yet Not Garrulous: Auspicious & Ebullient Lexical Accoutrements for the Perspicacious Sesquipedalian - A Logophile’s Complete Reference

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  10. The Most Efficient Way To Read Books When Pressed For Time: Volume Two of Five

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  11. How to Win An Argument With An E∂ian Even When They Transform Into Their Animal Form To Get Out of Said Argument

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  12. So Your Husband's a Horse: Practical Advice for Managing (Actual) Equine Husbandry

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  13. A Brief History of E∂ians and Verities: Volume One

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  14. The Origin of the E∂ian: The Special and the General Theory

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  15. The Importance of Maintaining a Good Reputation - A Guild to Navigating the Social Mores of Court: Volume One of Six

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  16. Transfiguration: How to Control Your Inner Edian When Pressed for Time or Escaping Death: Volume Two of Four

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  17. Forsaken By My Wife: How To Get Her Nose Out of a Book and Back On You: Volume one of two

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  18. Millie Michaels Guide to Brown-Eyed Wound Raspberry: A Study of it's use in today's cuisine; volume three of four

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  19. Women and Horses: How to Saddle and Bridle Better than a man: volume two of three

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  20. Don't Call Them Rats: A History of the Ferret in 16th Century England

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  21. The Importance of Penmanship in Today's Society and How To Encourage Others

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  22. Your Father Smelt of Elderberries: A Compendium of British Insults

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  24. Don't Call It A Curse: An E∂ian's Guide to Changing Forms

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  25. So You're a Dung Beetle: How to Accept Your Animal Form

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  26. It is possible to be a loser in a one horse race.

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  27. A total basket case? Weave got the answer.

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  28. A lady never tells; whereas a gentleman becomes Sir Boast-A-Lot.

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  29. Whether the weather when whither thou goest nigh yon steeds wither.

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  30. Are you missing a step? A complete guide to medieval castle repairs.

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  31. 1001 Fun Facts About Frying Pans, Because We Are the Ones Who Knew About It And Now So Should You

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  32. How To Talk Sense Into A Teenaged Boy, Volume III: Controlling the Bird Joy

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  33. The Weight of a Kingdom: Responsibilities, Powers and Why Royal Crowns are so Heavy

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  34. Spanning Years of History: The Unabridged History of Bridges in England

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  35. Make Sure to Check the Tower: Advice on How to Discover Those Hidden Skeletons Before Your Marriage

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  36. A Guide to Royal Etiquette and Other Things You Could Lose Your Head Over

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  37. As You Wish: How to Inspire Fear, Fealty, and Faithfulness in you Subjects

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  38. How To Give Your Books Ridiculously Long Titles That Could Mean The Same Thing In Fewer Words

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  39. How To Survive In The Wilderness: A Guide To Surviving In The Wild For Those Thoroughly Accustomed To Living In Comfort And Luxury

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  40. Why Don't They Call it a Queendom? Understanding Patriarchal Politics

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  41. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: E∂ian Form Demographics Based on Geographic Location

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  43. The Art of Losing your Mind Without Losing Your Head: A Memoir

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  45. History and Average Reigns of Flat Chested Yet Brilliant Red Heads in the British Empire

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  46. Pros and Cons of Arranged Mixed Marriages Between Ethians and Mere Mortals, Who Then Turn Out to be Ethians

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  47. How To Learn to Fly When You're About to Be Executed : A Memoir, Volume 2 (cover: https://www.dropbox.com/s/xcj3h0d21wb1koj/1.png?dl=0)

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  48. So You Want to Steal the Throne: The Beginner's Guide to Poisons and Dangerous Toxins, Volume 1 (cover: https://www.dropbox.com/s/31p55e6x4oynf4f/2.png?dl=0)

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  49. The E∂ian's Guide to Surviving in a Verity-Dominated Society, The Improved Edition of Volume Three (cover: https://www.dropbox.com/s/d65d78svgrvzuz8/3.png?dl=0)

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  50. Debunking Popular Ferret Myths: No, They Are Not the Squirrel's Pretty Cousin (cover: https://www.dropbox.com/s/r6wvw1wxcz8swrs/4.png?dl=0)

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  51. The Big Book of Horse-Related Puns: Volume 4, a Bestseller (cover: https://www.dropbox.com/s/dpx3qiln85uvzd6/5.png?dl=0)

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  52. What Not to Eat: The Full List of Possibly Poisonous Pies

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  54. How to Escape When You're Expecting: Getting Out of Sticky Situations While Pregnant

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  56. Friend or Food: How to Tell if the Beast You're Hunting is an Animal or an E∂ian Stuck in Animal Form

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  57. Couplets for the Amateur Poet: Or How to Write Poetry as a Horse

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  59. Fact or Fiction? A Compilation of the Great White Bear of Rhyl Sightings

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  61. How to Survive Nine Days of Being Queen: A Memoir of a Girl by Day and a Ferret by Night.

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  66. The Inherent Dangers of Blackberry Consumption. Volume 18.

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  67. The History of Edians and the Royal Family.

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  69. A Peasants Guide to Supporting Sustainable Wild Gerbil Population

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  70. The Essential Guide to Bread and Cheese Making for Peasants

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  71. Pottage Through the Ages: Volume One out of Nine

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  73. Monarchy Approved Names for Spring-Born Livestock

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  74. Edians and Royals: A Battle Through the Ages: Volume One out of Fifteen

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  75. How To Memorize Insanely Long Titles And Recite Them Word For Word When You Are Running Out Of Time

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