Thursday, January 7, 2016

Five Months To Go! And a Q&A with Rude and Angry FAQ

Hey y’all! It’s LadyJanie Brodi here, to mark the fact that five months from today, MY LADY JANE hits bookstore shelves!

Image result for my lady jane

It's officially Five Months Until Release Finally Day! Or as we like to call it: SMURF Day. This is not to be confused with the beloved holiday, National Smurf Recognition day, which pays tribute to these adorable little blue creatures
Image result for smurfs
I know what you're thinking... Where are their belly buttons?

(NSR Day is a day we also celebrate, except Jodi is too young to hold a deep reverence for Papa Smurf et al and their struggle against the dastardly Gargamel). 

 Image result for smurfs gargamel

Anywho, we thought some of you might have some questions regarding what will happen in these next five months, so we've compiled a list of FAQ's.

FAQ's for when a book is five months away from release day:

1. What's the holdup? Are you still writing the gosh-darned thing??

a: Um, no. And can you phrase your future questions a little more nicely?

2. Why should we? We are a conglomeration of questions that are frequently asked. We are not one person. We are everywhere, and we are nowhere. 

a: Um, that sounds a little like something out of the X-Files.

3. What's the X-Files?

a: It was only, like, the best television show from the 90's!

4. What are the 90's? Is that like that generation of really old people? 

a: Seriously, FAQ, where did you learn your manners?

5. The school of NONE OF YOUR GOSH-DARNED BUSINESS. Moving on. Why does it take so long to get a book into bookstores? Are you guys just lazy?

a: No! In fact, I'm writing this post while on my treadmill desk.

6. *tries not to snicker at the image*

a: Okay, FAQ, that's it. I will not stand for this rudeness one minute longer. I can see why you probably don't have any friends.

7. *sniffs* 

a: Oh. Oh... I'm sorry.

8. I only act out because my parents didn't love me. And because everything I say comes out in italics. 

a: Oh, no. That's horrible.

9. GOTCHA! I had no parents! Because I am just three letters of the alphabet in a particular order! Geez. 

a: You need help.

10. I've got an F, an A and a Q. That's everything I'll ever need. 

a: Well, this has been very informative for the readers, I'm sure. Thank you.

11. You'll be getting my bill in the mail. 

So, potential readers, we hope we haven't lost any of you due to FAQ's rudeness. Please believe us when we say, there's no controlling him, and we disavow anything he's ever said.

And if you have any additional questions that were not covered in the extensive FAQ section, ask away in the comments!

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